Did I really wear that?

http://babyjohnscrib.blogspot.com/2008/12/on-to-much-happier-posts.html

Wow, I'm amazed anyone still reads this! Thank you, you are very kind. I usually skim through all my favorite blogs every week, but just as I haven't been updating this one, I haven't been commenting either. Me and my bad attitude.......

I looked back at some old entries and had forgotten that I posted some LOVELY photos of myself on pick-up day. Boy, that was a happy day, but what a rotten feeling it was to try directing the photos to be shot above the neck.......oh no, that won't work, it won't show the baby, don't get my hips in the picture, make sure my chins don't show, etc, etc, etc. I was so appalled at how bad I looked. I really couldn't get over how huge my arms were.

I found that shirt while cleaning out closets for stuff for Purple Heart. It was a size 3x. I tried it on 1 last time, and found the arm material to be double the size of my arms, which I might add are now somewhat toned from carrying around an increasingly heavy kiddo for the past 2.5 years. The rest of the shirt was baggy as well.

The point of this story? Well, for the past couple of years, I have avoided going to all sorts of local Guatemalan cultural gatherings with my son because I was ashamed of being overweight. On a good day when I'm feeling a pretty high dose of self-esteem, I have a hard time talking to strangers. The rest of the time? I'm the one at the back of the room staring intently at the floor.

It's time to start introducing John to other kids that share his culture. Last pair of pants I bought were a size 10, so I'm not going to stand out in a crowd because of my size. My crazy shoes are another story, but I figure they are good conversation starters.